Chiron in the natal chart represents our “deepest wound”. It shows an area of our lives and part of our psyches in which we lack self-esteem or even self-respect and tend to overcompensate as a result. We tend to give and give and give in these areas of life, until we learn to build our confidence. Chiron represents insecurity, guilt, and, to some degree, subservience. We feel a seemingly endless need to prove ourselves in these areas of life, until we learn that proving ourselves simply never works! In fact, it ends up making us feel even more ineffective.
With Chiron-Sun hard aspects, for example, we tend to feel ineffective when it comes to expressing our creativity. In youth especially, there is a shyness about performing, about “being seen”, about being allowed to shine. These are children who hide their work in school or in art class. Very often, they are “middle children”, and feel that their creativity was stifled in youth! People with these aspects often worry unnecessarily about their performance, and are often left feeling devastated when they are criticized. They are often very good at boosting others’ confidence, yet neglect to build their own! This is where the “teacher” side of Chiron comes into play. People with strong Chiron are often very good at inspiring others, giving them pep talks, offering very friendly and sincere advice, and so forth–yet they have a hard time healing themselves.
With hard Chiron-Moon aspects, there is a feeling of awkwardness about expressing our emotional needs. These people may easily tell others “I am really fine”, and then privately resent them when they can’t see the hollowness of that statement! There is a tendency to dramatize the emotions. Depending on the position of the Moon in the chart, this may take place on the inside or might be apparent to others. There can be a “bottomless pit” feeling on an emotional level–a feeling that emotional satisfaction is always just out of reach. Mothers with these aspects may often feel guilty that they are not doing enough for their kids. There can be a tendency for people with these aspects to pour their feelings out, and then feel guilty or awkward about doing so and they proceed to cover it up and avoid the issue.
With Chiron-Mercury aspects, we may rarely feel satisfied with how or what we communicate. To express ourselves, or not to express ourselves–that is the question with Chiron-Mercury hard aspects. We may talk someone’s ears off one day, and then feel guilty about it later, at which point we retreat into ourselves and become uncommunicative. We might review conversations we had with others and kick ourselves for what we said, or what we didn’t say.
With Chiron-Venus aspects, there is a tendency to give, and give, and give again in close personal and love relationships, and a tremendous fear of rejection from a lover. No matter how much these people do for a partner, they never feel it is enough. Early experiences of rejection or other problem relationships helps these people to learn a tremendous amount about love and relationships, and they can easily be turned to for very insightful advice about human interactions. Applying this wisdom on a personal level is the challenge, as Chiron-Venus people need to first heal their own deep fears of not being “good enough”. They need to learn to love themselves and to make sure their partners are meeting them halfway. They might also be attracted to partners who need help, but with the hard aspects, it might be hard to get back the same kind of attention or appreciation.
Asking for what we want, or self-assertiveness, is the main challenge for people with Chiron-Mars aspects. They might find themselves apologizing after an “outburst” of anger, self-assertion, or statement of desire–somehow feeling ashamed. The Mars expression can be unusual and come across as outbursts because of the lack of confidence in the validity of their desires or whether their personal desires deserve to be met. There can also be some physical clumsiness or awkwardness. The main challenge for Chiron-Mars people is to learn to accept their own desires and feelings of anger as valid so that when they do express them, they express them naturally and with confidence.