Most of us are familiar with the significance of Venus in mythology. Venus, the goddess of love, provides us with valuable insights into how we approach matters of the heart. Venus rules romantic love, but it also plays a role in our pleasurable attachments in a more general sense.
Many of us have experienced attractions to people that we don’t entirely understand. The art print at right is a sweet and humorous depiction of a girl who is trying to resist Cupid’s arrow. Why do we fall for people? Sometimes, our attractions make sense. Other times, our attractions seem entirely irrational.
Turning to Astrology, and more specifically, Synastry, will help us find answers. Venus rules attraction. Although other factors are involved, Venus is the planet of pleasure, romance, and union. Venus is particularly important in Synastry, and Venus interaspects are common with couples who enjoy a long-lasting and significant union.
Venus in Synastry:
Look to Venus in each person’s chart to see how each individual approaches, views, and handles love and relationship. Compare the natives’ Venus signs, noting the similarities and differences. Then, determine if Venus makes an aspect to the other’s planets, luminaries, or angles (such as the Ascendant). When Venus in one chart aspects planets and points in another, the Venus person tends to get idealized and romanticized. The person with the contacted planet tends to expect a lot from Venus.
These are helpful aspects in any relationship. They create a sense of harmony and offer some common interests to the partnership. The Sun person feels more loving and beautiful in the presence of the Venus person. The Venus person finds the Sun person quite charming and intriguing. There is a mutual attraction here that, on its own, is not as insistent or sexual as other indicators (such as Venus-Mars or Venus-Pluto). Perhaps the most apt keyword for this combination is contentment. The more difficult aspects (opposition, square, and quincunx) can point to some problems and discord. The value system of the Venus native in this case is at odds with the Sun native’s general outlook and life path. Each person tends to over-indulge the other at times, and frustrate one another the next day.
These aspects smooth out many of the more difficult aspects in a relationship. Although these relationships are not immune to ups and downs and disagreements, the presence of this aspect in synastry creates an overall sense of harmony and compatibility. The attraction here has less to do with sexuality than it does with familiarity. These people have a strong need to set up house together and spend as much time with each other as possible. It is an aspect that almost demands physical presencethese people feel the need to be around each other, even if they are not interacting. They enjoy each other’s company, and there is often a fair share of tenderness and care between one another. When challenging, the Moon person may at times find the Venus person a little too playful at the expense of his or her own feelings. The Venus person may be tempted to turn on the charm when the Moon person is having problems instead of sincerely confronting and resolving problems. Glossed-over problems can undermine the integrity of the relationship and of the emotional commitment.
These interaspects are helpful for creating some common interests between the individuals. These people may enjoy happy exchanges and pleasurable, shared activities. Generally, there is a lot of “talk” in the relationship. Hard aspects (opposition, square, and quincunx) point to misunderstandings that disrupt the flow of the relationship. There can be complaints that each person talks a little too much. There is such a strong desire to communicate with each other stimulated by these aspects that it can sometimes seem like each person is vying for the stage, or the chance to speak.
The conjunction, sextile, and trine point to compatibility in relationship values and styles. There can be a wonderful feeling of ease and comfort with each other. With the trine and sextile, although the partners’ individual styles of expressing love and affection are different, they are similar enough to feel much in common, and dissimilar enough to keep things interesting and dynamic. It is easy to be romantic with each other without feeling like they have hurt their partner’s feelings with a style that is too aggressive or too passive, too intimate or too impersonal, and so forth. The quincunx creates a stimulating attraction, albeit a frustrating one at times. The opposition and square both point to attraction, but the attraction can be a frustrating one at times. The friction is caused by a lack of understanding due to different styles and needs in love, and the result can be both individuals feeling unappreciated. Partners should make every attempt to look beyond the style of relating and into each other’s hearts.
These are classic aspects, although they can be rather troublesome. Any aspect between these planets in synastry points to sexual and romantic attraction. Sexual magnetism of an insistent quality is found in the conjunction. Sextiles and trines produce attraction that is not as insistent or competitive as the hard aspects. Rather, the attraction is smooth and pleasant. However, the square, opposition, and quincunx can cause friction at the same time. There is considerable attraction, but over time, this sexual energy can become disruptive when left unchecked. Remember that the more difficult aspects have great value in that they stimulate people. Arguments often augment the sexual act in some way. The square tends to be the most troublesome interaspect between Venus and Mars—sexual attraction exists and is powerful, but sex is often delayed as the couple tends to engage in arguments that take time to work out before they do what they really want to do. Here, sex is probably the root of the arguments, even if this is not immediately apparent. These couples may try to resolve this conflict by attempting to consciously let down their defenses, turn off their egos, and just have sex. This way, they may find that they have much less to argue about. The reason for this is that the square gives tremendous physical attraction and tension that is very often disguised and mis-channeled. The Venus person is easily hurt or offended by Mars. At times, the Mars person’s direct approach is fully appreciated, but other times, the Venus person is offended by it.
These aspects are generally quite helpful in any relationship. The presence of flowing aspects between these planets in synastry can help smooth out any relationship. Forgiveness is a key strengthening factor with this interaspect.
When challenging, these interaspects can be difficult to deal with, but effort put forth to understand the interplays will result in enormous increases in understanding of the partners both individually and as a couple. There is often a strong need to be with each other. With the troublesome aspects (opposition and square), the sexual relationship may start out just fine, but later can become unpredictable, stunted, or sporadic. Spontaneity is lost, and this is generally due to power struggles in the day-to-day life of the couple. The Venus person often feels oppressed and restricted by the Saturn person. In fact, Venus may feel criticized and nagged, and Saturn may feel an unhealthy need to control and restrict the Venus native. This general conflict can lead to problems in the bedroom. With the sextile and trine, however, there is a steady and stable quality to the love and affection for each other, but some reserve or self-consciousness regarding the expression of feelings, romantic desires, and sexuality is present nevertheless.
These aspects offer excitement and thrills. The problem with this aspect, which is most apparent when the aspect is a conjunction, square, opposition, or quincunx, is that there may be an overall dissatisfaction with each other. Although sex can be especially exciting—even ecstatic—with each other, the partners may easily become restless, as there is an unsettled feeling between the natives that is persistent. When one person (especially Venus) is feeling romantic and loving, the other person (usually Uranus) is distant. When the interaspect is a flowing one (sextile or trine), the relationship may also be somewhat erratic, but this quality pleases both individuals. They may delight in the fact that their partnership is a little offbeat, and never dull!
These aspects are evolving and involving. They tend to play out over time in different ways. At first, the relationship is all-consuming. There is a feeling of soul connection. Slowly, realities surface themselves. Things do not seem as wonderful as they first appeared. Many couples with these aspects in synastry can overcome these little letdowns, as long as they let the relationship play out long enough. Eventually, they may find that the feelings come full circle. The difference is that they will come to realize that while what they loved the other person for at the outset of the relationship may not have been based on reality, they have the huge potential to love each other for who they really are. The difficult aspects (opposition, square, and quincunx) can result in disappointment and bitterness.
These aspects point to intense and magnetic attraction. They figure strongly in relationships that are long-lasting and significant. Love with these people is intense and transforming. This interaspect demands physical presence. When the natives are apart from each other, jealousies can arise. The difficult aspects generally play out as an emotional rollercoaster ride, with extreme swings from loving intensely to antagonism.
These aspects are powerful indeed. Look for the conjunction, trine, and sextile, in particular, as an indicator of true love. There is a healing quality to the relationship—one in which the natives feel that the love they have can heal the wounds they might have accumulated in relationships past. These people feel a strong need to be together, set up house together, and go the distance with each other. There can be a true feeling of joy in the love they share with one another. When the aspect is challenging, however, there can be irrational behavior and reactions to each other that are based on wounds of the past, carried forward into the present relationship.